He was full of life, and even in the midst of his battle with cancer he always found time to comment, or send me messages of encouragement while I was training to run in his honor.   I am extremely glad he was around to see me finish the marathon, though I wish he could have seen me run it again and again.

I amn’t a wordsmith, and I am definitely not good at writing goodbyes, so I will make this short.

Andy,

Thank you for not hurting me when I said I wouldn’t kick Renee out of bed for eating crackers before I knew she was your wife.

Thank you for your blunt, logical advice to my eccentricities.

Thank you for passing me in class despite my random capitalization, and essays written the morning they were due.

Thank you for allowing me to accomplish an unthinkable goal in your honor, and your help  in restoring my motivation.

Thank you for your encouragement and example of what a good person should be.

Thank you for the tacos.

Most importantly, thank you for being my friend.

Travel safe my friend, and may the afterlife welcome you with open arms.

My goal now is to get back down to 225.  It’s a rollercoaster this weight thing, I was 420lbs and then I got to 218, and now back to 285 I’m guessing.  So now my goal is to shed 60lbs and maintain weight at 225.  So, here’s to new motivation and new goals, the fight really is never over is it?!

Now before you get upset that I would dare use the word fatty in my headline, let me tell you where I stand.  I do not think the word fat is a scarlet letter.  It’s where I am, there is a jiggly substance around my midsection, and if I shake really hard my arms flap a bit in the wind.  To me this means I’m fat, so fat I will call it.  Sure it’s not where I want to be, but it’s not disgraceful and it’s not something to be embarrassed over.  You are what you are until you’re not, so at this point, a damned fatty ran the marathon, now he’s going to lose a bunch of weight.  Have some respect for yourself and don’t cower at the fact you might be fat.  Embrace it and go with the flow methinks.

I’ve revamped the blog, given it new light and a new graphic, this is a new goal might as well start out new.  I will be weighing myself every Tuesday morning and giving a weekly update/rant on where I am and what I’m going to do about it.  We did it readers, we made it through a brutally hot marathon and now it’s time to get into better and better shape.

So here we go, time to get it right… Be proud of yourself and let’s go!

They said it was going to be a hot day.  But out here on the East Coast folks are famous for their exaggerated sense of the weather.  The BAA sent out notification after notification about how only the elite should run, and that everyone else should defer.  This caused a lot of concern and grief across the masses, and of course my parents.  But I decided to stick with it, just go a lot slower.  The night before as I prepared I wrote the names of everyone who donated on the back of my Jersey, leaving of course a message for my brother at the bottom, it finally kicked in.  My doublewide was about to run a marathon, a very hot marathon.  Everything was laid out, everything set in place.  Early morning wake up and then off I would go.

The race:

They were right, it was painfully hot, the pavement felt like we were running on a grill, and even with the steep decline, the heat was grueling.  Being from the desert I didn’t think the heat would effect me that much but by mile 8 I knew I was going to be in trouble if I didn’t take it very slow.  So I just forgot about goals and deadlines, and with an open mind ran what I could and walked when I had to, all 26.2 miles of it, I did finish before my adjusted goal of 7 hours, with 12 minutes or so to spare, and I did run the last stretch over the finish line but it was a far cry from my original goal, maybe next time.   If you had asked the 420 pound me of 8 years ago about this, I would have thought you were nuts, I still probably would think you were nuts actually.

I thought about Andy a lot on the course, about how inspirational he is with this fight and that no matter how dire his circumstance seems he is always positive.  I thought about his family and how incredibly strong his wife Renee is, they do amaze me completely.  I also thought about my aunt who passed from cancer, my mum who has been through cancer battles twice and is still with us, my best friend who lost his dad to cancer when we were 18, and all the people in my life cancer has effected.  I was proud that I completed this monstrous task, but knowing that I had completed it for a cause as important as finding an end to blood cancers and other cancers alike really sweetened the deal for me.

The race was an emotional one, the spectators of the Boston marathon are some of the most incredible people I’ve ever encountered.  They all had their garden hoses on, ample amounts of ice for runners to take, oranges, Gatorade, and anything else you could think of.  They stayed right there in the sun cheering us on and giving high fives to even us that were going slower, I’m not sure I could have done it without their generosity,  the adrenaline was up and these people made you smile at every turn as they did their best to let us know what we were doing was amazing.  I got the biggest kick out of the kids that would run out with the hose and ask if they could spray you.  I would say yes please and they would get the biggest smile on their faces as they watered you down.  Then they would want high fives and so properly announce that I was going to finish, now get going.  That kind of thing really made it worth it, and really gave you the strength to continue.

the details:

Miles 1-8 were pacing miles, I really tried to slow my pace to a 12 minute mile, hoping to save my energy to the end.  It kind of worked, but the downhill and adrenaline really makes it impossible, and I ran a little quicker than I would have liked.  By mile 10 I was really feeling the heat, I had to take two of my powergel’s, and I was running under every amount of water I could find.  This is also when I began walking the water stops taking one water and dumping the other water over my head.  When I crossed the half marathon line I got my first boost of energy and I ran another mile or so to the team in training base.  Jillian and the water crew at our base were so amazing, I never in my life thought ice water sponges could be so glorious.  They really saved the day for me, and I stocked up on Gu as I was going through mine quicker than I wanted, grabbed some pretzels and Gatorade and then headed out.  14 or so down, 12 or so to go.

Still riding on my second high I made it another two miles before starting my walk/run/walk routine.  I took advice from another team member and started walking the upward slopes and running the downward ones.  I continued this up until mile 19 where I began running, my family and friends were at mile 20 and I wanted them to see me running (vain I know).  I met up with everybody at mile 20 and took more PowerGel, some energy drink a friend had concocted and then started to jog off again.  My pops came up to me and he stayed and talked to me as we walked up Heartbreak hill.  I know I should have run it, but at this point the race was about experiences, and having my father here was incredibly amazing to me, having him walk with me to the top of Heartbreak became an absolute highlight of the entire race.  As he drifted off at the top of the hill I started running again and off I went, nothing but downhill from here right?!?

By mile 23 I was again walking and running, my entire body was hurting, from my swinging biceps to the quads, calves, and feet.  I actually found that running was less painful than walking, so I ran as much as I possibly could.  Even though I had sun lotion on, my calves were so sun-burnt that I could feel the skin cracking as I ran, it was painful but only slightly less painful than my bleeding nipples.  I know TMI, but the band-aids had fallen off and the Vaseline had long since expired. It definitely was getting painful, but every mile made me smile a little more, my Achilles Tendon had not swollen up, the I-tam wasn’t hurting more than I thought it should, and by damn, I was 3 miles from finishing this thing.  The runners around me were also suffering a bit, and we were sharing stories of why we were there, what it meant, and we were encouraging each other.  The crowds were still there, and aside from a few out of control drunken college kids they still were making life easy with their ice and hoses.

A little after mile 25, Sarad, one of the coaches showed up started to walk/run with me.  He informed me that I would be running the last half mile whether I wanted to or not, nobody, NOBODY walked Boylston street to the finish.  I was fine with this, one slightly uphill pull and bam, we were on Boylston Street.  Kelli and Sarad, the two head coaches were with me and another team member, and as we ran the gauntlet to the finish line, people were still there!  Still cheering us on as we made our way down the stretch.  My parents and friends were there with their signs, holding them proudly and calling out loudly as we went further and further down the trail.  As I crossed the finish line I heard them announce my name and time (of course they pronounced the last name Ryebeek instead of ReBake) but that didn’t matter.  They announced my name, I had crossed the line, I was done.

My mind was actually too numb to really think about emotions or any of that.  I think I sputtered a list of what I needed to someone in an orange coat, whether or not she was supposed to help or not, she gave me directions and I headed on my way, stumbling in pain down the corridor.  They gave me my space blanket, which wasn’t really needed but mum has it as a souvenir and then they put my medal on my head, THAT was definitely an awesome feeling.  I collected my bag with my change of clothes and headed out to check-in with the team to let them know I made it, and to meet up with my family.  My mum intercepted me halfway and that is when I really broke down.  After minutes of a total bawling spree while hugging her everyone else caught up and we headed for the Team in Training meet up place.

This race and experience was wonderful.  The Team in Training folks really know how to set you up to succeed, and they are so good at encouraging everyone.  Mike, Sarad, Kelli, and Jillian worked smoothly and powerfully.  I definitely would recommend doing some sort of race for the team.  This was the most athletic thing I have ever done and I am so glad they were there to help me reach my goal.  It’s nice to know I’m still an Ox.  Really slow, but I always get the job done.  So to them I say thank you a thousand times, to the people that cheered me on from their mobile phones to computer screens, to right there on the side of the road I say thank you a thousand times.  And to everyone that donated to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society I yet again say thank you a thousand thousand times.

Remember to tell everyone you love that you do.

Bryan

PS.  I forgot to add this to the post, this is my marathon run stats via my Garmin:

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/168924100

I signed up for this marathon through Team in Training to run in honor of those effected with Cancer.  The money raised is going to research and my sweat and tears would be a testament and show of action for the respect I have for Andy, someone who I always have admired.   Even as he goes through something far more challenging he still spends a lot of time thanking me and making sure I’m alright, words cannot express how much respect I have for him and his family.

So today is dedicated to Andy, all my positive energy, all the vibes I can send, every moment I can spare will be going to him.  I’ll worry about the marathon tomorrow,   Please chemo ninjas do your job, kick this things ass and let my buddy survive this battle.  To Andy, Renee and the kids, my thoughts are with you.

Please send him encouragement, please think of him as well, let the good vibes roll and I’ll talk to you Tuesday.

Remember to tell those that you love that you do.

Bryan

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ma/boston12/briebeek

Training is done, I’ve beaten and battered myself, I’ve had to take time off, and I’ve come back with a bit of uncertainty in regards to finishing in time.  But right now, I am in the weightless stage.  When you are here you really have two options, you can start to panic and freak out about whether or not the engines will kick back on in time to level out the plane, or you can enjoy the moment, save up your senses, and kick ass on the recovery once the floaty turns into the divey. I’m trying for the latter.

Before today’s run they laid out all the plans for before, during and after the marathon, I have to say that if you ever have thought of doing something with the Team in Training team, do it.  They are so supportive, and the people who are on the team are very nice.  One of my biggest regrets over this whole experience is that I wasn’t as social as I should have been, maybe next time.

One of the lead coaches gave the mission moment today, and it was very touching, she recently lost her father and as amazing as I thought she was before she told us, I am now blown away by just how dedicated and caring she is towards other people and our team as a whole.  I sat in a room and growled at every person who walked by me for months after I lost my younger brother, losing all motivation to do anything, gaining back 60-70 of the pounds I had fought so hard to lose the first time around and barely making it through the work day.  It’s been two years and I still snap occasionally.  Her caring and consideration for us runners right now is pretty amazing and something I’m not sure I could do.  But like I said, this team and it’s coaches, water stops, and volunteers is amazing and I’m feel very privileged to have been apart of it.

As for the run, it was a standard 8 mile run.  I did stop after mile 5 and walk a half mile as I was curious as to how long it would take to walk a mile.  I couldn’t walk the entire mile as I was getting anxious to finish, but the time relieved me of a lot of concern I had toward finishing the marathon within 6 hours.  I feel I will be able to do it, crawling or otherwise, and I promise I will finish, time limit or not.  I’m going for that finish line and I’m going to hit it.

So, here’s to one more week, of peaceful free-fall until I light the engine up and swoop through this bastard of a run.  And there is still time to donate to the cause just go here and you can see my Team in Training page:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ma/boston12/briebeek

This morning I ran 6 miles with the team, they ran twelve, but as I am taking it easy right now I did 6 and will go for 8 next week.  I am feeling good, and the tendon and ankle are not giving me too much grief.  Ice Ice Ice, that’s what I’ve been doing.

I will fully admit that at this point I am a ball of nerves, if there wasn’t a time limit I would be fine, but for some reason I keep having this dreadful thought of getting injured and not being able to walk the rest of the marathon in the 6 hours alloted time.  But every time I run I get more and more confident.  That is also why I am not running a lot during these distance runs, I figure I should save the injury for the marathon right?

I got my jersey today, it really hit home that I am doing this, and that I am doing this for a fantastic reason, Andy Dick.  He’s such an inspiration and it makes me feel really good to be able to show my appreciate for him by doing this.  I am still going to write the names of all the donors on my jersey, or the names they have asked to be placed in honor of so my Jersey is going to be full of a lot of appreciation, as I am.

It’s not too late to donate, and if you would like to you can always go here:

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ma/boston12/briebeek

While i’ve hit my minimum I am still 215 away from the goal I set for myself.  All of this money goes to such a great cause.  This year the Society’s goal was $1mm and they are really close at $830k.  So any help will always be appreciated, and your name will go on the Jersey right along with everyone else.

Two more weeks or so until the big day, let’s hope the nerves don’t drive me crazy.  Here’s to an injury free two weeks, and an awesome race, thanks for all of you who constantly give me support, and thanks to Andy who even with his busy schedule still manages to send me words of encouragement.

Bryan

Luckily I’m training with the Team in Training from the Leukemia and Lymphoma society.  These guys are great, and they are going to redesign my training schedule for these last 4 weeks, so that I don’t re-injure myself, and so that I will still be confident going in that finishing this beast is possible.

I’m a very happy man today.

In a few days I will be announcing one last fundraising effort to help in raising money for the LLS.  Stay tuned

Remember to tell those that you love that you do.

Bryan

This really sucks and has me completely gutted.  So much work and to have something like this happen really gets a person down.  But I have an appointment for a physical therapist on Wed morning and hopefully he’s more optimistic about recovery than the doctor.  Until then, leg up, ice applied and here’s hoping it all mends well.

It started with apprehension over this injury and that, and it ended with an amazing emotional high.  I even teared up, yup I’ll admit it I did.  To think that 7 years ago a size 58 long suit is what I wore, and a 4x Fubu shirt I had was starting to get tight.  That butterball ran 16 miles down the Boston marathon trail and finished, ever so slowly.  But I did finish, Marathon bring it on.

All week I was fighting a hurtful tightness right below my calf, it was actually painful at the beginning of the week, but with a lot of icing, and a compression sleeve it felt alright for Saturday’s run.  It was really tight for the first three miles, but it really didn’t bother me too much until after my water break stops where it would hurt for the first few steps.  By mile 10 it had loosened enough that the only time I noticed it was when I would stop at the water stops and then start again, just a few seconds of pain and then back to normal.

When I returned home I took an ice bath and rolled it out, it was definitely more sore and stiff that the rest of my body, but I felt it was alright.  This morning I woke up and it was intensely sore, then I noticed that my leg was extremely swollen.  Though as I write this it actually feels better than it did last week.  But I am concerned because here is what it looks like:

This marathon certainly has taken it’s toll on my body, It seems like it’s one thing after another that goes wonky, and while it adds stress, as with every injury I fear it will be the on that keeps me from continuing.  There is a complete high and sense of satisfaction from overcoming it and doing things, like running 16 miles, so once again I just have to hope that this is just some bruising and that I will be good to go.  We have a couple of shorter runs, 12 milers left, but in three weeks I will be running the last long long distance run, 20 miles.  So here’s to a lot of ice, and a lot of rolling and tiger tailing, and hoping that this swelling is nothing more than a really really sore tendon.

This challenge certainly is the most difficult thing I have ever done, and I am sincerely grateful for the folks at Team in Training as they really are ace at helping you figure out the proper way to do things.  The mini-clinics we have before the runs have really helped me in my training, and the time and effort that the incredible water stop people put into making sure our runs are less stressful is beyond outstanding.

I may go see someone this week if this swelling doesn’t go down, even if it means missing the 12 miler next week and just sticking to cross training I want to be in the best shape I can be for the 20 miler, and for the marathon.

And one last thing addressed to my body,

Dear Body;

Sludge through this.  It’s painful, you’re angry and I get that.  But we are doing this in honor of an incredible person so please man up and let’s complete this.  Then you may crash for a day or two, nothing but old episodes of Doctor Who, popcorn, and a comfy bed I promise.

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan.

I was in New York/ New Jersey this weekend,  which meant a solo run instead of with the team.    Just me, my iPod and a water bottle.  I figured at the very least I would get 4 or 5 miles in, and due to my negative attitude over the entire thing honestly felt that I wouldn’t get much more.

Well, mile 5 came and went, as did 6 and 7.  No pain in my legs other than the usual cobweb removal at the beginning and once in a while a twitch or so.  The run was going smoothly, and my confidence that all this was possible started to build back up.  The weather was pleasant, the sun was out, and the park I was doing laps around started to fill up with people.  I don’t know if on the outside I was grinning, but inside I was ear to ear ecstatic over the fact that I am back.

So, the run.  All 13.3 miles of it, was made happy and done with very little pain because by damn, all those little doubts were disappearing.   As I ended the run a funny thing happened, I just couldn’t stop running, I had to slow down and crawl for a bit like a train slowly rolling into the station.   Once I did stop to sit down and drink some water followed with a few little stretches  I stood up and my legs let me know that yes, they had just carted a 270 pound gorilla 13.3 miles and they weren’t necessarily happy with the prospect of having to actually move again.  So I hobbled back to where I was staying, and yes it was painful.  But unlike two weeks ago, it was a very deserved happy pain.

As I iced I realized that my calf muscles, which were stinging and screaming, somewhat resembled two sacs of jello, they were completely loose, I don’t know that I have ever felt them so loose before.  Yet again I was smiling, it’s a bit twisted perhaps, but there is just something fantastic about running past your limits, no matter how menacing the small amount of pain that comes afterwards feels, or the fact that some parts of your body look like someone took a meat tenderizer to them.

I think also that this was the first glimpse into what running this distance is going to feel like.  I have to admit that at a healthy state I have never run for such a distance that my body felt completely wrecked afterwards.  And while I didn’t feel completely wrecked after this, it did take a good hour of icing and relaxing before I felt somewhat back to normal.   So after icing and resting a bit I was back up and at it.   Even the next day I was able to walk normally after a few blocks of  stretching it out.  And the bits that are overly sore are not the injured bits.  So yes folks, I’m on the mend.

Over all I am extremely happy with being back and being able to complete the run with the injury seemingly in check.  I think that the injury worried me more than I should have let it, and the moral to the story is you have to do, not think about doing or not doing because you are afraid, but just get out there do.

Hopefully this thinking will help me get back on track for the rest of the training.  This upcoming Saturday is a 16 miler, and we are getting oh so close to Marathon day, 7 weeks ahead, so here’s to it folks.

Remember to tell those that you love them that you do.

And if you’d like to contribute to the Team in Training cause I am running this for, please visit this site for more information

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ma/boston12/briebeek